5 Quick Reasons for Elon Musk to Come Back Home to South Africa – Thus Leaving America

Hashtag #Satire #ElonMuskComeBackHomeToSouthAfrica #CampaigntoBringElonMuskBackHometoSouthAfrica

Hey dude, yes you Elon (Musk), you need come back home to South Africa.

1.     Smoking weed is now legal across the country –  and not just in a few states/provinces like in America

I saw you smoking weed on Joe Rogan’s podcast (The Joe Rogan Experience).

I am sure you’ve heard that weed (pot, marijuana, cannabis, dagga, lebake, reefer, ganja) is now legal in South Africa for private consumption and cultivation. Our HIGH Court has ruled for the decriminalization of weed – don’t excuse the pun.

Yes, weed is legal in all corners of the country – unlike in the USA where it’s legal in a few states.

Trust me bro, Tesla stock prices won’t fall when you are seen smoking weed down here.

2.     Americans on social media talk smack at you

Here is the smack I saw just now:

  • “Can Elon Musk just invent a machine that gives him the attention he needs so we don’t all have to do it anymore.” @superdeluxe on Twitter.
  • “Elon Musk wants to be Tony Stark so bad after all his years of being a dweeb” @BBWslayer666 on Twitter.
  • “Elon Musk: Farts Joe Rogan: How do you have time for that” !ZK on YouTube.
  • “Looks like Elon’s clone doesn’t know how to properly smoke weed” Jay Nail on YouTube.

Down here, you will be worshipped. If you don’t like being worshipped, it’s fine, we won’t do it.  Anything you want Elon – anything.

“01101000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01100001” Elon Musk laughing in binary code.

3.     Our president, Cyril Ramaphosa, is willing to make you a co-president

I was with the president last week and I pitched this brilliant idea of making you an honorary president. He loves the idea.

Come home brother.

4.     If you don’t want to be a president, you can be a king

Look at how awesome you look in the dashiki above.

You can choose any tribe whose’ kingdom-ship you want: Zulu Nation, Tsonga Nation, Pedi Nation or Orania Nation.

5.     A little colonisation

If push comes to shove, we can apply some little colonisation tactics to make you king. It’s all good. Helen Zille would agree with this. It is all about the benefits and the big picture. What is a little colonisation to making the air cleaner? Colonisation bro, I am telling you.

Plus, your company Space X is in the ‘going in space’ business. You need practice for when you will be taking over other planets. Come practice at home.

PS. Loving South Africans (I speak on behalf of them).